neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
