I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
