Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
