My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
