the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
