Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
