Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
