Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
please don't ironically join a cult
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