I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
