What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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