I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Randomize
