He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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