Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
