please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
