ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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