she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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