when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
