yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
