quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
