He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
