I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I should be sponsored by Trojan
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
