Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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