my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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