yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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