I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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