I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
