i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Your penis caused this!
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