I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
