I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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