Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
