It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
