i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
