Whod you bang
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
