the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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