and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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