I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
