i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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