Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
