Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
