thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
