can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
