my sisters under your porch take her home
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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