party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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