You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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