I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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