so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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