Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
