the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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