sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
