I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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