just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Farmville is her only friend.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
