we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We talked him into tasing himself.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
